If you had asked me this morning if I was going to post something today, I would have said “…I don’t think so,” and said in such a way that you knew it actually meant, “Nope!”
This was for the simple, yet consuming-at-the-time reason that today was just not shaping up to be a good day. It didn’t “feel” like a good day. As much as I told myself that “Today will be a good day…I give this day to you, God…*listens to some good tunes to make the day better*….*reads Bible*….*does everything she can think of to make the day better*….”
Yeah, most of today still sucked. Yes, I smiled a lot today – genuine smiles – but the day took more of me than it usually did. It’s one of those snowball effects, where all the little things roll into something big enough to bowl you over. If you let it.
I had tried so hard not to let it.
I tried so hard.
That was my problem – I – and was up until most of the work day was gone.
I decided I would try again, and to make the most of what was left. Lessons and things done for the day, I plugged in my headphones, started playing some of the wonderful tunes that Bethel Music has produced and began to journal.
I started writing about how I felt, about what I tried to do, and I wrote it all over to God. I started writing all the individual things I was giving to Him and then all the things I wanted to thank him for. I wrote down some ideas for things to do differently for some issues I’d come across that day.
After that, I saw that I had been trying to do this day solo: I tried to get my joy, my peace, my strength – all by myself and by my power. Pbbt. “What power is that, Adina?” “Uhhhhhh…..” “Yeah, I thought so.” Thusly went my inner conversation with myself.
I had tried to bolster myself enough, to give myself a good enough pep talk, to try and make myself faithful enough to trust God to get me through the day…but that’s just not something you or I can do.
It’s something you have to lean in and cling to him for. You have to throw up your hands to Jesus and say, “I give up! I can’t do it! Here!” and that’s when he grins and lets all his goodness run through his fingers, raining over you. That’s when I started feeling and being in his love and peace and joy and faith – the way I should have from the start of today.
Stubbornness, eh? What a thing.
Whatever a day holds, I know that I can and will get through it, whether it’s hills or mountains. All I have to do is play my trump card against life.
Y’know, the card that beats all others, no questions, no potential weakness, no chin-rubbing-deep-thinking or searching in the rule books for a loophole or workaround? It just wins.
It’s the Jesus card: “slays all the monsters, cleans all the slates, breaks all the chains, loves all the hearts, puts all the pieces together (or back together), etc.” I think you get the point. It’s an attack, defense and special card all wrapped up into one! It’s the most ULTIMATE of ultimates. In Rock Paper Scissors, one hand always beats another and there’s no absolute winner. Not so with Jesus.
He can’t be beaten and…he’s never lost.
So I’ll just keep pulling out my ultimate – my plan A & Zed.
Remember: you’ve got the winning card. There’s no play left to stop you. The game’s creator said so (not that life is a game).
Walking through life, you can be confident because you’ve got the winning card in your pocket (but make sure you’ve got a good ol’ pocket protector in there too, because this card is incredibly valuable and
deserves requires special treatment from you). You can use it whenever, for whatever and as many times as you want. BOOM!
Just remember to play it.